A 101 on the BDSM lifestyle from Feminista Jones

I’ve often heard brothers and sisters dismiss this…let’s say “alternative” way of life as “something White folks do,” but the fact is African-Americans participate too. Some people of color simply like to push the boundaries of standard or “vanilla” sexual behavior (as it is called in the lifestyle). In fact, there is a growing community of those of us actively engaging in BDSM. We, too, have proudly chosen to incorporate certain sexually alternative behaviors into our lives that allow us to freely express ourselves and indulge in kinkier pleasurable acts. Black BDSMers see ourselves as different, yes, but different ain’t bad.

Continue reading the post Shades of Black BDSM on Ebony.

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"A Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship is based on a consensual power exchange between two (or more) people where one (or more) dominates and one (or more) submits."

I have learned that many people struggle not only with identifying the truth about themselves, their needs, and their wants, but also with fully embracing those truths—and living them. This is especially true for African-Americans who can be rather conservative when it comes to sexual morality and acceptance of alternative sexual practices. To this day, I don’t discuss this with anyone in my family. They’re deeply rooted in conservative Southern religious views; I know they’d never even try to understand, much less accept, that this is how I live. By building support networks within this lifestyle, we’re allowed freedom to be who we are with our people, without fear of judgment from our people.

Continue reading the post Shades of Black BDSM on Ebony.